


you may be a chance I need to take

by Doranwen



Category: Rookie Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode Related, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 21:56:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18819793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doranwen/pseuds/Doranwen
Summary: An AU for 1x08 Honor Roll.  What if Luke hadn't been able to catch Sam at the beginning of the shift?





	you may be a chance I need to take

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as the next chapter of my [ep-related set](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15680421), and it rather outgrew that and demanded to be posted all by itself. Much thanks to my alpha reader Ryleigh04, who helped me talk through many issues and encouraged me along the way!
> 
> I've seen fics that diverged partway through Honor Roll, or picked up after it was finished, but never any that diverged from the very beginning of the episode, and I think it might've changed things greatly. Hopefully my tweaks are plausible! :)
> 
> Title taken from the Carpenters song "Happy".

Noelle laughed. "Ahh, I don't know. Bounce in your step, twinkle in your eye… I didn't know any better, I'd swear you were in love."

Sam stopped cold and watched her continue walking inside. In love? Andy's face rose to the front of his mind unbidden. OK, he felt something for her, but then he'd felt things for a few other women over the years. The relationships were enjoyable while they lasted, but eventually it became clear that the fun was over, and he moved on. Andy, however, he had never put in those categories. She was different. For one, she was his rookie, he reminded himself. Until she was cut loose, he was responsible for training her to be a great cop—and any kind of relationship beyond that of training officer and rookie was out of the question. He had told himself he felt nothing more for her beyond that—though he would also consider her a friend of sorts…

He shook his head, attempting to clear it from the confusion that had been unleashed with Noelle's words. Right now Andy was his rookie—as well as the woman who had come to him when she needed someone. If he wanted to bring her coffee, it didn't mean more than that. His memories of how well she could kiss were crystal clear, but she had also walked out when the lights came back on. They really needed to talk at some point.

He entered the station and began scanning the people there in hopes of spotting a familiar ponytail. After a minute, he had to confess he was out of luck, and set her coffee down on a desk out of the way of traffic—where he could keep an eye on it. Noelle's words had him extra cautious about holding onto it until she arrived; someone was bound to spot it and start questioning the relationship between them, and that was the last thing she needed right then. Andy was a good cop, but if they thought she'd been given any favors because of his feelings towards her, that black mark might never come off her record. Whatever he did or didn't feel towards her, he wasn't about to damage her record as a cop.

Five minutes later, he was in the middle of a conversation with Noelle when he spotted her at last. He quickly excused himself and made his way over to her, with a side trip to pick up the extra coffee. "Here," he said, holding it out to her. "Thought you could use it."

Her expression shifted between discomfort and gratitude, finally settling on the latter. "Thanks," she said softly, and took a sip.

He picked his next words carefully. "Ready to be back?" Handling Andy was like dealing with a wild animal, or maybe the proverbial colt, he had decided: she was skittish and easily spooked. Say the wrong thing and she'd bolt.

"Yeah." Her eyes darted away from his for a moment, then returned. "We should talk. Since we haven't seen each other since… well, you know."

He bit back a grin and glanced at the clock. At any moment there would be some sort of announcement about what they were going to be doing that day. "Sure—in a few minutes?"

"Uh, yeah, OK."

And there was nervous McNally again. Sam almost smiled to himself. He had to wonder, though, what she was going to come out with. A feeling of dread crept over him as he realized what her instinctive reaction would probably be. He was glad when Frank's voice cut into his thoughts, and he focused on his new boss, teasing him about the white shirt.

* * *

Of course they'd send the rookies to do community outreach, he thought. Well, the one benefit was that it might give Andy some time to calm down with whatever she was going to say—or more time to dig herself an emotional hole, he admitted to himself. With McNally, there was no telling.

People began to disperse, and Sam started to head down a side hallway. "You coming?" he called back to Andy, who seemed to be frozen in place. His call shook her free, and she hurried to catch up with him. "I thought you might prefer not to talk in the middle of everyone."

"Yeah, uh, thanks." She took a breath. "Are we good? I mean, because I came over and then—"

"McNally, I think I remember exactly what happened." He noted the blush on her face with some interest. "The real question is why?" She was _fidgeting_ , he noticed, like a kindergartener being questioned by the teacher.

"I, uh…" she trailed off for a second. "I kept reliving it, seeing myself kill him. I had to get out of my apartment, and I knew I could go to you."

They were getting somewhere, but not quite yet… "I had offered to listen, yes. That still doesn't answer my question." Oddly enough, the more he questioned, the more she seemed to calm down, settling into the answers.

"I couldn't—I couldn't stop seeing it. I just wanted to feel something besides that, and you were there."

Sam sighed inwardly. He was there. That was her only reason? "I was there, huh? Any warm body would do?" He was gratified to see her blush again, shaking her head.

"I didn't mean…" she began.

Well, at least there was that, but waiting for her to actually give a full, accurate answer was a waste of time; getting answers out of a flustered McNally was never straightforward and simple. He interrupted her. "The other part to that question has to do with Callaghan. Are you two still—?"

She had the decency to look a bit ashamed. "Yeah…"

His sigh this time was audible. "I'm not a cheater, McNally, and I'm not going to be 'the other guy'. You need to decide what you really want."

She looked conflicted, the discomfort of the conversation playing clearly upon her face.

He took pity on her. "Follow your gut, OK? You did it last week with Dhara, you did it with her would-be killer, and you saved multiple lives. When you follow your gut, it works. Why don't you give it a shot off the job too," he suggested.

"Andy?" came Chris's voice from down the hallway.

He gave her a quick grin. "Have fun with community outreach. I'll see you later," Sam told her, walking on and leaving her staring after him. Maybe by the time they talked next she would have figured something out—but he wasn't holding his breath.

* * *

Sam had to admit, inviting the detectives to participate in the retraining was mostly due to a desire to see Callaghan beaten by one of the unis. The detectives were soft from years of not having to wrestle suspects to the ground or chase down fleeing ones. If he were lucky, he might even get to beat Callaghan himself. Not violently or out of control, no—just enough to show him that Sam was far stronger and better at it.

He was no poacher, but he was invested in the welfare of his rookie (he ignored the little voice in the back of his head telling him it was a bit more than that), and Callaghan clearly was doing a terrible job of being her boyfriend. In the detective's list of priorities, McNally obviously didn't come first, and that was a big mistake. If he wasn't treating her right, Sam had every excuse to step in and fix it. (After all, they had to ride together; what affected McNally affected him.) At the very least, he could be there for her when Callaghan wasn't—which he had already done. He hoped she would come to her senses, but who knew when—or if—that would happen.

He was enjoying watching Noelle take down Detective Watson in record time when he suddenly heard Andy behind him. "Sam!" she yelled in his ear in order to be heard over the roar of the crowd. "Sam, can I talk to you?"

What…? She was supposed to be at some high school talking to kids about being a cop. He stood up from his crouch. "McNally, what are you doing here? I thought you were—"

"Yeah, the school was closed. Can we talk?"

He realized they were rather in the midst of everything, and pushed his way through the crowd, Andy following. He led her down the same hallway as earlier that morning, and turned around to face her once they were far enough away from the roar of the crowd. "What is it?"

Andy took a deep breath. "Luke wants to take me to his fishing cabin at the end of shift."

Sam grimaced. Why was she coming to him with this? "Sounds like you made your decision then, McNally. Enjoy the love shack." He turned to go back to the retraining.

"But I don't _want_ to go!" she burst out. "He made some suggestion about it last week and I said 'sure, sometime'."

Sam sighed and turned back to face her.

She was biting her lip, eyes clouded with uncertainty. "I didn't know what to say. And after this past week, the last thing I want to do is take a trip the first shift I get back."

What was he, her own personal Dear Abby? His momentary frustration dissipated somewhat with another glance at Andy's face. "Why do you need me to tell you what to do here?"

She ducked her head, studying the floor. "Because… you're my T.O."

"That's for work. Somehow, I don't think your relationship with Callaghan qualifies, unless of course it's affecting your ability to do the job."

"No! It's just—" she trailed off for a second. "I don't know what to do, and—" her voice dropped to nearly a whisper with the next words, "—when I talk to you I feel like everything will be OK."

Sam stared at the woman in front of him, not sure whether he should shake his head or grin. Did she even realize what she just said? "If that's the case, then why are you with him?"

Her head shot up like a startled rabbit, but before she could say anything, Chris called her name from the other end of the hallway. "Andy? We need to go talk to those guys."

"Talk to some guys, huh?" Sam asked, eyes on Andy.

"Uh, yeah, just something that came up on the way back from the school. Sam—"

"Sounds like you better go. Shouldn't keep your partner waiting," he said with a slight smile. He spun on his heels and made tracks for the retraining, leaving her standing in the hallway for a moment before heading in Chris's direction. His mind replayed the conversation, and he finally decided shaking his head was the better option. McNally was going to give him a headache in short order if this kept up.

* * *

"Can you do that, $2500? That totally works. I can do that," Sam said into the phone. Oliver had been bugging Sam about inviting the other guys over for barbecue this summer, but he'd thrown out his old grill the month before due to excessive rust buildup. He hadn't always maintained it that well, but being gone so long on the Anton Hill op had dealt the death blow to it. Fortunately, the owner of the outdoor kitchen he'd been admiring had called him back during a break between retraining matches, or he might never have heard the call. The backyard had been rather underutilized since he'd gotten the place due to his frequent work with Guns & Gangs, but he might as well spruce it up since he wasn't going undercover any time soon.

"Sam?" Andy materialized from around the corner.

And there she was again, he thought, half-amused. He held up a finger. "Can I call you back?" he asked, hitting the end button on the call when he got an affirmative response. He turned his attention on his rookie for what seemed like the umpteenth time that day. "OK, what is it now, McNally?"

"I need your advice. On a case," she clarified.

Sam wondered if the extra clarification was due to their previous discussion. At least this was more like his usual duties. "What case?"

"You remember me saying something came up on the way back from the school?"

Sam vaguely recalled something about that. "Yeah."

"Chris and I saw this guy in an alley all beat up, so we stopped and called for EMS…" The story started out innocuously, but as she continued telling him the events of that day, Sam's gut began talking at him loudly.

Midway through her explanation of Lily's story, Sam heard footsteps behind her, and held up a warning hand quickly as Jerry came into view. "Hey Sammy, you and Callaghan are up."

Sam's gaze didn't miss the increased anxiety in Andy's face at that bit of news. His eyes flicked between her and Jerry as he answered. "Tell Best I'll be there later—my rookie needs my assistance right now." Jerry had the wisdom not to say anything, and Sam watched him go until he was sure he was out of earshot. "I think we'd better continue this in Observation 1. Go get Diaz and meet me there. Not a word to anyone else," he warned.

* * *

Diaz looked a bit worried when Sam caught sight of him, and he could tell Andy felt the same. Sam glanced around, confirmed no one was watching the hallways, and opened Observation 1. "In here." They followed him obediently inside, and he closed the door, wishing it had a lock. "So, McNally, you were saying this Lily, Bibby's sister, was telling you Jake raped her?"

"Yeah, but she was lying. I mean, she had to be."

Diaz nodded along with her words. "She was really vague about when it happened," he offered.

"And she kept avoiding eye contact and touching her nose," said Andy. "We think her brother put her up to it."

"Because I talked to Steve Peck, and he must've gone to Bibby and told him."

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose. This was getting worse and worse. "So Bibby knows you two know something now," he said. "Great." He sighed. "Why did Bibby beat up Jake, anyway?"

Andy glanced at Diaz before answering. "We went to talk to Jake after that, and he finally opened up, said Bibby had a ton of cash in a duffel bag at his house."

"Yeah, 50 grand at least," Diaz added.

"Apparently Jake tried to steal some of it, and Bibby beat him up and threatened to finish him off if he told anyone." Andy finished her tale and looked at Sam expectantly.

Sam swore and pinched the bridge of his nose again. She'd given him a headache all right, as he expected—just not at all _how_ he expected. Why did he end up with the rookie who managed to get herself in the most complicated situations? "OK, so here's what we do. You two go write this up, give it all to me, and let me pass it on upstairs. You try it yourselves, either no one'll believe you, or you'll be the two rookies no one will ever talk to, or both. I tell them, they'll take it seriously, and they won't give me a ton of grief about it."

"But—" Andy started to object.

"McNally, let me do this. Trust me, I know what they'll do to you versus me. It won't hurt me. I can spin it all as my orders, and they'll leave you alone."

Her face still looked somewhat mutinous, though Diaz was already nodding.

"That's an order, McNally. Go write it up now, give me everything you've got, and don't talk about this to _anyone_ , it doesn't matter who. Got it?" He added a bit of intensity to his words, and they finally elicited a reluctant nod from his rookie. "All right, go."

Sam leaned his head back against the wall after they left, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. What a _mess_. Somehow it didn't surprise him though—it seemed to be one of Andy's not-so-hidden talents, finding the most complicated, messy situation to trip herself or someone else over. At least this one he had an idea of how to handle.

After a minute he left the observation room and headed back to the retraining area. He still had a detective to take down…

* * *

A part of Sam wished Andy had been there to witness him soundly trouncing Callaghan on the mat, but he knew it was probably for the best. He didn't need the temptation to show off to her; the match was about him showing Callaghan that Sam wasn't someone to mess with, that he was superior, in a way that was both socially acceptable and wouldn't raise any suspicions about forbidden feelings for pretty rookies. He did have to wonder about what Peck suspected, though, given some of the things she said or hinted at.

They were putting the retrain equipment away when he caught sight of Andy and Diaz. Andy clutched a file folder in her hand and Diaz glanced about nervously as they headed for him. The kid was so obvious, Sam thought. It wasn't likely he was destined for any kind of serious undercover role. He was proud of Andy, however—her face was suitably blank as she reached him. "Here's the information you asked for, sir," she said, handing him the file folder.

"It will be dealt with," he promised them in a low voice. "Now, go enjoy yourself with the other rookies. If anyone asks, I had you doing research for me. No one will be interested in hearing about that."

"Thank you, sir," Diaz told him, turning to leave. Andy didn't.

"Need something, McNally?" How many times had he asked that question? The answer was always 'yes', too.

"Can we talk?"

Sam almost laughed. What was this, the third or fourth time that same day? A part of his brain whispered that he always gave in for the same reason; he ignored it. "Sure." He inclined his head towards one of the less-frequented hallways and started walking.

When they'd reached a corner without any other officers visible, he turned to face her. "What is it now?" Andy's eyes darted about without settling on his face, and he sighed. "Spit it out, McNally."

"What was it to you?" She still wasn't looking at him.

"What was what?"

"The night of the blackout. At your house."

 _Now_ she wanted to talk about it? He would never figure this woman out. "What do you mean?"

She met his gaze. "Like, was it a casual one-time thing, or did you want it to be more?"

She really _was_ asking. Sam rolled his tongue around in his mouth, trying to decide how to answer.

Andy started speaking before he had figured out the words to use. "Because I just want to know what I'm dealing with here. I know why I kissed you; what I don't know is why you kissed me back."

When she wanted to be direct, she didn't mince words. Sam opened his mouth carefully; he had the sensation of walking a tightrope, long drop on either side with one misstep. "It wasn't just one night for me." He looked her in the eyes, willing her to understand.

She bit her lip before speaking at last. "Me either," she said in a quiet voice, ducking her head momentarily. "Just—isn't it against the rules?"

All of Sam's resolve about not getting involved with Andy till she was cut loose flew out the window at her words. "It is, but it's not an issue if they don't know about it." It wasn't like she didn't get an introduction to his lack of rules the first day they rode together, after all.

Her eyes shot up to his; the emotion in them nearly took his breath away. She was silent for a few seconds. "I guess I need to break things off with Luke, then."

"What I said this morning still stands," Sam said with a nod.

Andy studied his face for a moment. "You were right about listening to my gut. I hadn't been listening to what it said about Luke."

"I'm usually right," he said with a smirk. Her eyes narrowed but she had no comeback. "Want a ride to the Penny when you're done talking to Callaghan?"

"You said they shouldn't know…" she began.

"I've given you rides before; it won't look suspicious. As long as we're not hanging out together while there, we'll be fine. We can talk more after—or not," he said with a grin. The resulting blush on her face was gratifying. "Go on, let him down gently." He could afford to be magnanimous to the loser in this scenario. "I'll meet you at my truck in a half hour. That enough time for you to get out of uniform as well?"

Andy nodded. "See you in a bit," she said.

Sam watched her leave, then made his own way to the locker room, whistling to himself until he got within earshot of another officer. He'd have to watch his actions as well, he reminded himself. All they needed was Noelle wondering why Sam was whistling; she was already suspicious enough. And after Oliver's comments the day he let Andy borrow his truck… Shaw might not be cut out for undercover, but he had a nose for secrets like nobody's business. Sam would just have to treat this as another undercover operation. He let himself grin as he walked outside a few minutes later. It was a beautiful, beautiful day, and somehow he suspected tomorrow would be too. Life was good.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still writing on some of these long WIPs (currently tackling one post-4x01 AU that could end up 50k or more when all done), but it may be a while before they're done. In the meantime, come join us at the [Rookie Blue community on Dreamwidth](https://rookieblue.dreamwidth.org/)! We've had some episode rewatches and various discussion posts, and more commenters and posters are welcomed.


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